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issue #29 | date: 12/10/2025
Editors Note
A few weeks ago my father passed and I decided to pause newsletter issues so I could grieve.
A few years ago, I had challenges post-partum and also had to pause in that context to allow my body to heal.
Life changes are real and I’m compelled this week to not only send light and love to everyone going through hard times, but to also share some of the lessons I’ve learned navigating life’s hardest moments.
Leadership during hard times isn't about pretending nothing's wrong. It's about showing up honestly, asking for help, and giving yourself the grace you'd give anyone else.
Many times, it’s logging off and trusting your team to handle business.
In this issue:
Why trying to "power through" major life events often makes things worse
How to lead authentically when you're not at your best
Practical strategies for navigating grief, postpartum, health crises, and other major transitions
How to build systems that support you (and your team) through hard times
This one's personal, but I sincerely hope it helps.
Sincerely,
Phedra Arthur Iruke
Editor in Chief
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Featured Job Listings
🏆 Top Picks of the Week (Hand-Picked, High-Impact Roles)
🔹 Director of Enterprise Change Management
Company: RiteHite
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Format: Full‑time (Hybrid)
Apply: Apply here
Reporting to the Chief Human Resources Officer, this newly created director role will establish and lead a company‑wide change‑management framework. The position designs scalable models, governance processes and toolkits to guide strategic, operational and cultural transformations; partners with executive leaders and HR to ensure clarity and readiness for major initiatives; and integrates change practices into project management, HR and operations workflows. Based at Milwaukee headquarters, the role offers a hybrid work schedule and requires 12+ years of experience driving enterprise change with strong stakeholder‑management skills.
🔹 Director of Enterprise Project Management
Company: State of Vermont (Digital Services Agency)
Location: Montpelier, VT
Format: Full‑time (Hybrid – 3 days/week on site)
Apply: Apply here
The State of Vermont seeks a strategic leader to head the Enterprise Project Management Office and oversee planning, execution and governance of technology projects across all agencies. This exempt role leads enterprise‑wide planning and methodology, manages procurement reviews, and ensures adherence to project governance, compliance and risk‑management protocols. The director manages project teams and special programs, reports to the Chief Program Officer and must be in the Montpelier office three days per week.
🔹 Senior Vice President, Chief Program Officer
Company: Results for America
Location: Washington, DC (flexible within the U.S.)
Format: Full‑time (Remote with up to 50 % travel)
Apply: Apply here
In this senior executive role at Results for America (RFA), you will lead the newly formed Government as Client Unit, aligning local, state and federal practice teams to achieve RFA’s North Star goal of shifting government funding toward evidence‑based solutions. Responsibilities include overseeing fundraising for major donors and foundations, driving economic mobility outcomes, building cross‑team efficiencies, and mentoring VPs in a complex matrix environment. The position is full time, remote from a home office anywhere in the United States, and requires up to 50 % travel.
🔹 Senior Director of Product Operations
Company: Samsung Electronics America
Location: Englewood Cliffs, NJ
Format: Full‑time (Hybrid)
Apply: Apply here
Based at Samsung’s U.S. headquarters in Englewood Cliffs, NJ, this hybrid role owns the strategic and operational execution of product launches, content, merchandising and go‑to‑market initiatives across global business units. Reporting to the Head of Product, the Senior Director leads cross‑functional teams to deliver best‑in‑class digital commerce experiences, drives end‑to‑end content lifecycle management, and uses rich media content strategies to increase product adoption and sales. Key priorities include accelerating time to market for new launches, developing data‑driven merchandising strategy, optimizing operations and resource allocation, and driving performance improvements through analytics and automation
🔹 Chief of Staff
Company: HP (Consumer PC Solutions)
Location: Vancouver, WA or Palo Alto, CA
Format: Full‑time (On‑site)
Apply: Apply here
Reporting to the Senior Vice President of Consumer PC Solutions, the Chief of Staff joins HP’s CPCS Leadership Team to drive planning, communications and alignment across strategy, people, category and finance functions. The role acts as a strategic liaison, orchestrates employee‑engagement programs, prepares executive review materials, and champions AI adoption throughout the organization. Candidates should have a bachelor’s degree and 10+ years’ experience leading cross‑functional operations and managing large‑scale projects.
📌 IC & Manager Roles
Role | Company | Location (City, State) | Format | Apply (with direct link) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
Integration Project Manager – AI Ultrasound | GE HealthCare | Remote, US | Full‑time (Remote) | |
Project Manager | Schurz Communications | Remote, US | Full‑time (Remote) | |
Project Manager (Senior) | CAI (Computer Aid, Inc.) | Trenton, NJ | Hybrid (3 days on‑site) | |
Change Manager – Claims & Provider Payment Modernization | Healthfirst | New York, NY | Hybrid | |
Business Unit Change Manager I (Organizational Change Management) | Navy Federal Credit Union | Vienna, VA | Full‑time | |
Manager, Change Management | GEICO | Chevy Chase, MD / Tampa, FL / New York, NY / Dallas, TX | Hybrid | |
Change Management Manager (Remote) | First American | Santa Ana, CA (Remote) | Full‑time (Remote) | |
Senior Implementation Manager | Radicle Health | Remote, US | Remote | |
Implementation Manager (Canada Remote) | TOOLBX | Toronto, Ontario (Remote) | Full‑time (Remote) | |
Implementation Manager | UpKeep | United States (Remote) | Remote | |
Manager, CRM and M&A Integrations | Mercer Advisors | Remote, USA | Remote | |
Technical Program Manager | Salesforce | San Francisco, CA; Chicago, IL; New York, NY; Atlanta, GA; Indianapolis, IN | Office‑Flexible (Hybrid) | |
Technical Program Manager | Waymo | Mountain View, CA / San Francisco, CA | Hybrid |
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Bots Take the Wheel
🤖 Auto-Manage Calendar During Crisis Periods
The Problem: When you're dealing with a major life event, the last thing you have energy for is managing your calendar, responding to meeting requests, or remembering to cancel things.
The Fix: Automate calendar management so the administrative burden doesn't compound your stress.
Real Use Cases:
Google Calendar + Auto-Response: Set "Limited Availability" Mode
Logic: When you activate "crisis mode," auto-decline non-essential meetings, auto-respond to calendar invites with context, and block focus time
How: Create a Google Apps Script → When activated, scan calendar for next 2 weeks → Auto-decline meetings tagged "optional" → For all other invites, auto-send: "I'm dealing with a family matter and have limited availability. Please work with [backup person] or reschedule for after [date]" → Block 2-hour focus blocks daily
Impact: Protects your time without you having to manually decline dozens of meetings while grieving or recovering.
Slack + Auto-Status: Communicate Availability Without Explaining
Logic: Set Slack status to "Limited Availability" with auto-response directing people to backup contacts
How: Slack status update → Custom message: "Limited availability until [date]. For urgent matters, contact [Name]. Otherwise, expect delayed responses." → Set to "Do Not Disturb" during certain hours → Auto-respond to DMs with backup contact info
Impact: Sets clear expectations without requiring you to explain personal circumstances repeatedly.
Email + Auto-Sort: Filter Urgent from Non-Urgent
Logic: During crisis periods, auto-filter email so only truly urgent items reach you
How: Gmail filters → Create temporary VIP list (boss, direct reports, critical stakeholders) → All other email → Skip inbox, label "Review Later" → VIP emails → Priority inbox with notification → Send auto-response: "I'm dealing with a personal matter and checking email sporadically. For urgent issues, please [escalation path]"
Impact: Reduces cognitive load. You only see what absolutely needs your attention.
TL;DR: When you're going through something hard, every small administrative task feels impossible. Automate the calendar and communication management so you can focus on what matters—healing, grieving, recovering—without work admin adding to the burden.
Visionary Voices
📝 Sheryl Sandberg: Former COO of Meta (Facebook) | Author of Lean In & Option B | Advocate for Grief Support & Resilience
Quote: "After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. 'I was in the void,' she writes, 'a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.'"(Source: Option B)
On May 1, 2015, Sheryl Sandberg's husband Dave Goldberg died suddenly of a cardiac arrhythmia while they were celebrating a friend's 50th birthday at a resort in Mexico. He was only 47 (Time). Sandberg found him lying on the gym floor, and "the wails of her crying in that hospital were unlike anything that I'd ever heard in my life," according to a friend who was there.
On The Impossibility of "Powering Through":
Sandberg, "the complex-problem solver, the micromanager, the person with an almost freakish understanding of how to arrive at the best possible results, was thrust against something unfamiliar: an outcome she couldn't change."
For someone who had built a career on optimizing everything, grief was unfixable. There was no framework, no five-point plan, no way to execute her way out of the pain.
On Showing Up To Work While Grieving:
Mark Zuckerberg said that after Dave's death, many things that used to be "Urgent, please call" from Sheryl weren't anymore. "These days they're not. But I think that that's made her a better leader."
Grief gave her perspective. Not everything was actually urgent. Not everything required her immediate response. And that clarity made her more effective, not less.
On Asking For What You Need:
Sandberg's advice: "Rather than offer to do something, it's often better to do anything. Just do something specific." She shares examples: "One of his friends texted him and said, 'What do you not want on a burger?' Not, 'Do you want dinner?' Another friend texted and said, 'I'm in the lobby of your hospital for an hour for a hug whether you come down or not.' Just show up." (NPR)
People want to help but don't know how. Be specific about what would actually be useful.
On Permission To Feel Joy:
About four months after Dave died, Sandberg danced at a friend's child's bar mitzvah and felt happy for one minute. Then immediately, guilt flooded in. "How can I feel OK when Dave is gone?" She realized: "It's not just overcoming the grief and it's not just overcoming the isolation; it's giving ourselves permission to feel happy."
Her practice: Write down three moments of joy before bed every night. "Happiness isn't always the big things. Happiness is actually the little things, the little moments that make up our day."
On Building Resilience:
In Option B, co-authored with psychologist Adam Grant, Sandberg writes: "We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build."
Two weeks after Dave died, a friend told her: "Option A is not available. So let's just kick the shit out of Option B." That became the thesis of the book and the nonprofit she founded to support people through adversity.
What You Can Learn From Her:
You don't have to "power through" – Even the most capable leaders can't optimize their way out of grief
Be specific about what you need – "Let me know if I can help" puts burden on you. Better: "I'm dropping off dinner at 6 PM"
Give yourself permission to feel joy – Happiness isn't betraying the loss. It's honoring life.
Resilience is built, not born – Small daily practices (like gratitude journaling) actually help
Where to Learn More:
Option B (Book) – Combines Sheryl's personal insights with Adam Grant's research on finding strength in the face of adversity
OptionB.org – Free resources for building resilience through grief, illness, job loss, and other hardships
Her NPR Interview – Practical advice on supporting someone through loss
HBR Interview on Grief at Work – How to create resilient workplaces
Why She Matters to Delivery Professionals:
You will go through something hard. Someone you love will die. Maybe you have to face a health crisis. You'll experience postpartum challenges. Divorce happens about half of the time.
Sheryl's story matters because she's proof that even the most high-performing leaders can't just "push through" major life events—and they shouldn't have to. Her vulnerability in sharing her experience gave millions of people permission to not be okay, to ask for help, and to rebuild slowly.
Gif by nickatnite on Giphy
✨ Weekly Recommendations
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Professional Development
📚 Leading Through Life's Hardest Moments
Let's start with the truth nobody wants to say:
When you're going through something devastating—grief, serious illness, postpartum complications, a family crisis—you cannot show up as your "normal" self.
And that's not a failure. That's being human.
But here's what makes it harder: Most workplaces expect you to compartmentalize. To "leave your personal life at the door." To bounce back quickly.
That's not realistic. And it's not healthy.
Let me show you how to lead authentically through the hardest moments—without destroying your career or your health.
1. Why "Powering Through" Doesn't Work
The Myth:
Strong leaders don't let personal issues affect their work. They compartmentalize. They push through.
The Reality:
When you're grieving or dealing with a major life crisis, your brain literally doesn't work the same way.
What The Research Shows:
Grief impairs cognitive function: Studies show that bereaved individuals experience significant declines in attention, memory, and decision-making for 6+ months
Sleep deprivation (common in grief/postpartum) reduces cognitive performance by 30-40%
Chronic stress (from illness or family crisis) shrinks the prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for executive function
Translation: You're not choosing to be less sharp. Your brain is operating with diminished capacity.
What Happens When You Try To Power Through:
Mistakes increase: You miss details, make poor decisions, forget commitments
Burnout accelerates: You're using all your energy to appear normal, leaving nothing for actual work
Recovery takes longer: Suppressing emotions doesn't make them go away—it makes them worse
Relationships suffer: Your team knows something's wrong, but you won't talk about it, creating awkwardness and distance
The Alternative:
Acknowledge what's happening. Adjust expectations. Ask for help.
2. The First Conversation: Telling Your Manager
The Fear:
"If I tell my manager I'm struggling, they'll think I can't handle the job. I'll get passed over for promotions. I'll be seen as weak."
The Reality:
Most good managers have been through something hard. They get it. And they'd rather know what's happening than watch you struggle in silence.
How To Have The Conversation:
Step 1: Schedule time (don't wing this in a hallway)
"Can we talk privately? I need to share something personal that's affecting my work."
Step 2: Be direct about what's happening
You don't owe anyone your full story, but give enough context for them to understand.
Examples:
"My father passed away last week. I'm grieving and not at full capacity right now."
"I'm dealing with serious postpartum health complications. I'm working with doctors, but recovery is taking longer than expected."
"I'm going through a family medical crisis. I need to adjust my workload for the next few months."
Step 3: Propose what you need
Don't just name the problem—come with ideas for how to manage it.
Examples:
"I need to reduce my meeting load for the next month. Can [colleague] cover the weekly stakeholder sync?"
"I need flexibility to attend medical appointments. I can work around them, but I may need to shift my hours."
"I can't travel for the next two months. Can we find alternatives for the client meetings?"
Step 4: Be clear about what you can do
Reassure them you're not disappearing—you're adjusting.
"I'm still committed to [key project]. I'll keep you updated weekly on my capacity."
What NOT to do:
Don't minimize ("It's not a big deal, I'm fine")
Don't disappear without explanation
Don't promise you'll be "back to normal" by a specific date (you don't know)
3. Setting Boundaries Without Guilt
The Problem:
When you're going through something hard, every request feels like a burden you can't handle.
The Solution:
Get very clear on what you can and can't do—then communicate those boundaries.
Framework: The Capacity Matrix
Divide your work into four categories:
1. Must Do (Non-Negotiable)
Critical deliverables only you can do
Direct report 1:1s (but maybe shorter/less frequent)
Key stakeholder relationships that can't be delegated
2. Should Do (Important, Can Be Adjusted)
Projects you can slow down
Meetings you can shorten or skip
Tasks you can delegate partially
3. Nice To Do (Can Be Deferred)
Stretch projects
Optional meetings
Professional development activities
4. Can't Do Right Now (Off The Table)
New commitments
Travel
After-hours events
Anything requiring peak cognitive performance
How To Use It:
Share this with your manager:
"Here's what I can commit to for the next [time period]:
Must Do: [List]
Adjusting: [List]
Deferring: [List]
Can't take on: New projects, travel
I'll reassess in [X weeks/months]."
The Key: You're not asking permission. You're stating what's realistic.
4. Communicating With Your Team
The Question:
"How much do I tell my team about what I'm going through?"
The Answer:
Enough so they understand why you might seem different, but only what you're comfortable sharing.
Template:
"I want to share something with the team. [Brief context: I'm dealing with a family loss / health issue / personal crisis].
This means a few things:
I might not respond as quickly as usual
I may need to reschedule meetings occasionally
I might not be at my sharpest for a while
Here's how we'll handle it:
[Colleague] will cover [specific responsibility]
For urgent issues, reach out to [backup person]
I'm still here for [what you CAN commit to]
I appreciate your understanding and patience."
What This Does:
Normalizes that you're human
Sets clear expectations
Prevents awkward guessing ("Is she mad at me? Did I do something wrong?")
Shows trust in your team
If You're Not Ready To Share Details:
"I'm dealing with a personal matter that's requiring a lot of my attention right now. I'll be less available than usual for the next [timeframe]. [Colleague] can help with [X], and I'll keep you updated on timelines."
You don't owe anyone your story.
5. The Grief/Crisis Toolbox: Practical Strategies
A. Protect Your Energy
Decline non-essential meetings
Use this template:
"I'm managing reduced capacity right now. Can we handle this via email or push to next month?"
Block "recovery time"
Put 30-60 minute blocks on your calendar daily labeled "Focus Time" or "Do Not Schedule." Use them to rest, cry, stare at the wall—whatever you need.
Batch communications
Instead of responding to Slack all day, check it 2-3 times. Set your status: "Checking messages periodically. For urgent issues, text me."
B. Lean On Your Systems
This is when all those processes and templates you built pay off.
Use project templates so you're not starting from scratch
Delegate using your documented frameworks
Let automation handle routine tasks
Rely on your team to execute without you
C. Lower Your Standards (Temporarily)
Before crisis: "I'll review every deck before it goes to executives."
During crisis: "Use the template. If you're confident, send it. I trust you."
Before crisis: "I respond to all Slacks within an hour."
During crisis: "I'm checking Slack twice a day. For urgent, call me."
Before crisis: "I attend every stakeholder meeting."
During crisis: "I'm sending [colleague] to represent me."
This isn't lowering standards permanently. It's triaging.
D. Practice Micro-Recovery
You can't take 3 months off. But you can take 3 minutes, several times a day.
Step outside for 5 minutes
Do 10 deep breaths between meetings
Close your eyes for 60 seconds
Text a friend who knows what you're going through
E. Build Your Support Network
Identify 3-5 people you can be real with:
Someone at work who knows what you're going through
Someone outside work who can listen without trying to fix
A peer who's been through something similar
A professional (therapist, grief counselor, support group)
You cannot do this alone.
6. When To Take Leave (And How To Know)
Signs You Need More Than Adjustments:
You can't focus for more than 10 minutes at a time
You're making significant mistakes regularly
You're crying at work multiple times a week
You're having panic attacks or severe anxiety
You're not sleeping more than 3-4 hours a night for weeks
You're having thoughts of self-harm
Your physical health is declining rapidly
If 3+ of these are true: It's time to take leave.
How To Approach It:
"I need to take [medical/family/bereavement] leave. Here's my plan:
I'll be out for [time period]
[Person] will cover [critical responsibilities]
I've documented [where things stand]
I'll check in [weekly/not at all] depending on what you need
I'll reassess toward the end and let you know if I need more time."
Know Your Rights:
FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act): 12 weeks unpaid leave for serious health conditions or family care
Bereavement Leave: Varies by company (typically 3-5 days, but negotiate for more if needed)
Short-Term Disability: May cover postpartum complications, serious illness, mental health crises
Company Policies: Many companies offer more generous leave than legally required
Don't wait until you're in crisis to take leave. If you need it, take it.
7. Coming Back: The Return-To-Work Plan
The Mistake:
Trying to come back at 100% immediately.
The Reality:
Re-entry should be gradual.
Framework: The Phased Return
Week 1-2: Observation Mode
Attend key meetings, but mostly listen
Catch up on what you missed
Rebuild relationships
Limit new commitments
Week 3-4: Partial Load
Take on 50-70% of normal workload
Focus on critical projects only
Continue to defer non-essential work
Week 5-6: Near-Normal
Ramp to 80-90% capacity
Start picking up deferred work
Reassess what can stay off your plate permanently
Week 7+: New Normal
You may not return to your exact "before" self—and that's okay
Some boundaries you set might stay (and should)
Some things you delegated might stay delegated (and should)
Communicate The Plan:
"I'm planning to ease back in over 4-6 weeks:
Weeks 1-2: Observing, catching up
Weeks 3-4: Half load, critical projects only
Weeks 5-6: Ramping to full capacity
I'll reassess and let you know if I need adjustments."
8. For Leaders: Supporting Your Team Through Crisis
If someone on your team is going through something hard:
DO:
Acknowledge it directly: "I heard about your father. I'm so sorry. How can I support you?"
Offer specific help: "I'm taking the client meeting this week. Don't worry about it."
Check in regularly: "How are you doing? What do you need this week?"
Be flexible: "Work from home. Adjust your hours. Just keep me posted."
Protect their career: Don't penalize them for being human. This crisis is temporary.
DON'T:
Ignore it: Pretending nothing's wrong makes it worse
Say "Let me know if you need anything": Too vague. They won't ask.
Set hard deadlines for return: "Take what you need. We'll figure it out."
Make it about you: "I know how you feel, when my [X] died..." (No. Just listen.)
Expect them to be normal: They won't be, for a while. That's okay.
The Goal: Make it safe for them to be human, to struggle, and to come back when they're ready.
TL;DR: When you're going through grief, postpartum complications, serious illness, or family crisis, you cannot show up as your "normal" self—and you shouldn't try. Tell your manager what's happening, set clear boundaries using a capacity matrix, communicate honestly with your team, lower your standards temporarily, and lean on systems you've built. Signs you need leave: can't focus, making mistakes, crying at work frequently, severe anxiety, not sleeping. Re-entry should be gradual over 4-6 weeks. This isn't weakness—it's being human. The leaders who acknowledge their struggles and ask for help come back stronger than those who pretend to power through.
I'm sending this newsletter with extra care. If you're going through something hard right now—grief, health struggles, postpartum challenges, family crisis—I see you. You're not alone. Take care of yourself first. The work will wait.
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Until next time,
The Business of Delivery
Quiet moves. Bold Careers.